Tall Latte, Extra Cream
by Jackie Mag
Summary: Justin narrates his own version of the B/J love story in this AU version. He meets Brian the day that Jason Kemp's body is found. S2, E10 . The timeline is adjusted in that Justin has completed a 4 year art degree. He's 22, has had to hustle for survival and is tougher than he was in the series. Brian is slightly OOC. Inspired by the movie "Boy Culture" X J .
1. Chapter 1

My name is Justin Taylor and this is my story. I know there are plenty of love stories out there and many of them about hustlers, or former hustlers. I'm not pretending that my story is particularly unique, but I wanted a chance to tell it.

When I'd just turned eighteen, my father found out two things he hated about me. First, he found out that I wanted to study art. It wasn't his dream for me – He wanted me to be a business major and take over his profitable business "Taylor Electronics". He was the king of stereos and TV's and wanted me to take over the throne.

The second thing he found out was that I'm gay. It all came out, as it were, when I got into a shoving match with a guy from school, Chris Hobbes. Our fathers were dragged with us into a meeting in the principal's office. During the meeting Chris called me a fag and I didn't deny it. _He_ was in denial about his homosexual tendencies, but I decided to be out and proud.

Dad was pissed. He told me that I had to give up my disgusting lifestyle _and_ my desire for an art degree. As long as I lived in his house I had to follow his rules, none of which I could stand. I realized that the only way I could live my life the way I wanted was to get away from him. I loved my family, but being true to myself was important, too.

I told him off and a heated argument went on for a while. My mother tried to calm us down, but it became clear to me that Mom wasn't going to change Dad's mind. I pulled out a duffel bag and started packing. Within an hour, I was on the street with my bag in my hand, disowned.

I stayed with my friend Daphne's family for a while. I missed my senior prom due to lack of money. I also didn't have anybody to take. Daphne and I discussed it, but my heart wasn't in it. I finished the last two weeks of high school and graduated. I was the only kid there with no family in attendance. It sucked.

Daphne had plans to go off to college, so I couldn't live with her anymore. I was rather desperate, so I got a room in Vaseline Towers. It was a shithole, but it was roof over my head. I found a job at Pittsburgh Perk coffee house as a barista. It paid rent, but there was no money for food or anything else. I needed to supplement my income.

The first time I sold myself for money, I was pretty desperate. Some old perv wandered out of a bar a few blocks north of Liberty Avenue. I was in the alley having a cigarette. He flirted with me. At first I told him to go away, but then he offered me twenty bucks to blow him. I had less than a dollar in my pocket and no food in my gut. I don't know how I got the nerve, but I negotiated my price up to thirty. He agreed, put the cash in my hand, I dropped to my knees and blew him right there.

After he finished, I went to the Diner and ate like a king. Deb, the waitress there, has always been nice to me. That night I felt ashamed of what I'd done, but I was so fucking hungry, the shame dissipated. I realized that if I needed to keep food on the table, I might have to consider hustling.

The years went by. I won't bore you with all of the details, but I continued work in the coffee shop during the day and supplemented my income at night by hustling. After a few years I was no longer working the streets. I'd established a clientele of guys who'd call me and I'd go to their place and service 'em. My price for a blow job was one hundred: fucking was three hundred and _never_ without a condom.

I made enough money to get an apartment I shared with two other guys, Andy and JR. They were in my same line of work, and I ain't talking about making lattes. It was definitely a notch up from Vaseline Towers, although JR was pretty much of an asshole. I just avoided him as much as possible.

I managed to pull in enough cash to enroll myself in community college and start my art degree. Between the coffee shop, school and hustling, life was busy. I never had time for a social life. I never dated.

So, here's the part where I tell you about my romantic life. There's not much to tell, I didn't have one. My johns were all generally good guys, who just needed to pay someone to get laid. Sometimes I'd meet a guy at a bar and find him interesting, but when we'd get close enough to kiss or do anything intimate, I'd push away.

I couldn't bring myself to get close to anyone. I loved my family and they rejected me. I tried to make friends in high school, but, after I came out, they all shunned me except Daphne. Even she moved away. I know that's not really rejection, but she wasn't around for me to tell my troubles to. My roommates were only interested in whether or not I could come up with rent. There was a gal from the coffee shop, Janice, that was a good work friend, but I didn't socialize with her much outside of the shop. I'm pretty sure that explaining to a good friend or lover you're a hustler at night probably wouldn't go over real well.

The fear of rejection paralyzed me. The idea of opening up myself to someone and then getting my heart stomped on kept me from getting close. I desperately wanted to love someone and be loved, but, I didn't believe it could ever happen for me. I'd watch couples walk down the street holding hands and I'd ache for the closeness. I'd sleep alone at night, wishing for someone to hold, to love.

Anyway, life went on for me. I graduated with my art degree, which meant, of course, that all I was asked to do professionally in that regard was the pretty chalkboard signs at the coffee shop. No one was hiring an artist. I didn't have enough spare time to do anything beyond sketching. I'd tried to establish a portfolio and, with my school projects, managed to put together a pretty good one. But nothing clicked for me professionally. Occasionally, I'd save up for some art supplies and do some paintings. I really wanted to work with larger canvases, but never had any place to do them outside of my apartment.

One day I when I arrived at the Diner and the place was in a commotion: some kid had been killed and thrown into a dumpster behind the place. Deb had found him. I went out back and recognized him. I didn't know his name, but knew I'd seen him hustling. A kid named Hunter recognized him, too. I'd met Hunter on the streets a couple of times. He reminded me of me about four years before. We talked to Deb and I drew a picture of the kid. We called him dumpster boy, until there was more information about his identity. We later found out his name was Jason Kemp.

I was sitting at a booth drawing a sketch of Jason and I could sense someone looking over my shoulder at the next booth.

"Not bad." Said the sexy voice.

"Thanks." I said. I looked up and saw this guy. He was gorgeous, tall, well-dressed and had this fucking charming smile that could knock me over. I'd been to the Diner a few times, but I'd never seen him before. I struggled for the next thing to say. "I hope we catch whoever killed this kid."

"Little hustler picked up one too many tricks." He said with a shrug. I was burning with the knowledge that I was a hustler, too, albeit a few notches above the boy being zipped into a coroner's bag.

Deb hit him on the back of the head. "That hustler was someone's son, asshole!"

Hunter piped in. "Don't forget, Brian, I'm a hustler, too."

Brian shrugged again. He stared at me intently. "And you?" His eyes bored into me. I could tell he was attracted to me. I also got the sense that he knew that I hustled, or suspected. I wasn't going to tell anyone of my secondary profession, particularly a guy who obviously didn't put much value on the life of a hustler.

"I'm an art school graduate. That's all you need to know." I clipped. I handed the sketch to Deb. "Here you go. I hope it helps." Detective Horvath took a statement from me and got my information.

She thanked me and I grabbed my coat to leave. Brian and I exchanged glances. I felt his eyes following me as I left.


	2. Chapter 2

A few days later, Carl Horvath called me and told me he'd been working with Brian on the case. Carl told me that he'd given Brian my phone number because he wanted to ask me something. At first I thought that he might ask for my services, but then realized that a guy that looks like that probably doesn't have any problems "connecting". I was intrigued.

Brian phoned the next day. Hunter had remembered seeing Jason with former-Sgt. Striker. Brian asked to meet me at this dive bar where the ex-cop hung out. Brian and Hunter were going to try to pick him up and get some DNA off of the guy. They needed someone young-looking like me. Hell, I had a similar appearance to Jason. I was intent on catching the asshole and was more than happy to help.

I dressed in appropriately slutty clothes and went to the bar. I saw Brian first, then Hunter. Brian made Hunter wait in the darker doorway section of the bar. Hunter had ID'd Striker to Brian the night before, and the plan was for me to pick him up. Maybe I'd pick up a cigarette that he'd set aside or get a glass that he drank from. We weren't sure.

As Brian and I sat and waited, we talked.

He started out simple and direct, which is his style, "So, how long have you been hustling?"

"Four years." I said in resignation of the fact that a man I was attracted to now knew what I did for a living. I had a direct question for him, too. "How long did it take you to turn around and care about Jason Kemp?"

"Two days with Stockwell talking about his 'family friendly' campaign, which, I realized meant closing every gay bar and clamping down on drugs so hard that you'd have to beg to get an aspirin in this town. Asshole. If I can get the goods on Striker and tie him to Stockwell, it might be possible to defeat his mayoral campaign."

"I hate Stockwell." We clinked our beers together on that one.

"If you've been on the streets for four years, you must have been…"

"Eighteen. I was eighteen when I started."

"Fuck." He looked away like he was trying to remember being that young. I guessed that he was over thirty. "Did you run away from home?"

"My dad found out I wanted to be an art student and that I was gay. If I lived with him I had to give up both."

"Like being gay is a choice."

"Exactly. So I said 'Fuck you' and moved out. I've been on my own since then."

"Pretty brave for eighteen."

"I believed in myself. When you have something you believe in, you'll sacrifice everything for it."

"Family … a home … when you're that young, that's a lot."

I nodded and then turned to him. "How about you? Do you have your own place? Family?"

"I have a loft just off of Liberty Ave. My dad died last year. I have a divorced sister with two bratty kids. I don't speak to my mom much. She thinks that because I'm gay that I'm going to hell."

"Ah, yes. I've heard that one, too." I took a drink. "Do you ever get lonely?"

"I'm too busy fucking every hot guy in town to notice." He said with a grin. "I have friends I hang with. My friend Lindsay got me to donate sperm and we made a baby, Gus. He's three." He sat up a little straighter and looked at me. "Why am I telling you this?"

"I have no idea." I said laughing. He chuckled, too. We sat in silence for a while. Two guys sat down at the bar and started kissing. I looked at them jealously, and then said with disdain, "I hate all of that lovey dovey stuff. It makes me sick."

"I don't believe in love, I believe in fucking. It's honest, it's efficient. You get out with the maximum amount of pleasure and the minimum amount of bullshit."

"Hear hear to that. Love is for suckers." We toasted that one, too. _Little did we know_.

He smiled at our agreement. "Does hustling pay all of the bills?"

"I work at Pittsburgh Perk as a barista during the day."

He nodded in understanding. "I, personally, don't pay for sex. I get enough free offers."

We talked for another hour and found a lot in common. We bitched about the sexual technique of some guys. We talked about different bars and hangouts. We agreed that using safe sex was the only way to go and anybody who didn't use a condom was a fucking idiot. Brian told me that he got tested every six months. I told him that I did it a little more often, like every three months or so. HIV took so many young men in my profession; I was _not_ going to be another statistic.

Hunter slipped out without us noticing and searched the alley. Later, we found out that Hunter found Striker and got him to fill a condom, his own way. Striker was linked to Stockwell, but it wasn't until Brian put the ads on TV that people noticed. Striker killed himself. The police were satisfied, based on the evidence, that he'd been Jason's killer. The Kemp family had closure to their family tragedy. Stockwell was defeated, thanks to Brian risking it all. I like to think that what I told him that night at the bar helped him make the decision to risk his job for what he believed in.

Brian later started his own company. I ran into him at the Diner one afternoon and he told me about his new business. I suggested the name Kinnetik. He used the name. I guess I had at least a little influence in Brian's life, even before we really got together.

We'd run into each other every couple of weeks or so. He would sometimes buy coffee where I worked and we'd chat for a while. It was always nice to see him. He'd talk to Janice, too. She gave him references for places that might be looking for an ad agency and he appreciated it with his new business.

A few months went by like that with occasional encounters. Then, one day I got a phone call. It was Brian and he asked me to come to his place. I agreed and was there within the hour. I was intrigued what he was calling about.

I rang the buzzer for 'B. Kinney'. The voice said, "Yeah?"

"Brian, it's me, Justin Taylor."

"Come on up, fourth floor." The buzzer rang. I entered the building and rode the elevator up to Brian's loft.

Brian was standing in his doorway waiting for me. "Hey." He was wearing a sleeveless t-shirt and jeans, no shoes or socks. He looked so hot. Love the feet. Looking at them made me wonder about the size of other attributes.

"Hey, Brian."

He motioned me inside and closed the door.

I turned to him with a smile on my face. "You requested my services?"

"Yeah. I think I need professional help. You came to mind."

"What'll it be? What do you want me to do?"

"Listen to me. Are you listening?" He said with an intense look.

"Yes."

"You can't tell a soul what I'm about to tell you. Do you understand?"

"Of course. I understand discretion, believe me."

"OK." He walked toward his bedroom and motioned for me to follow. As we got to his room, he turned to face me. "I had testicular cancer. They removed my left nut and put in a prosthetic replacement. I had radiation treatments."

"Jesus! Are you OK now?"

"They got the cancer out. I'm mostly OK."

"Mostly?"

He closed his eyes before for his next admission. "I haven't been able to get it up since the surgery."

"Oh." I smiled gently and his eyes opened to meet mine. I walked up to him and slid my right hand from his chest to his crotch. "I'm sure I'll be able to help you with that. Leave it to a professional."

"This better work. How much?" He inquired while rubbing his fingers together to indicate money.

"A hundred for a blow job, three hundred to fuck, condoms only."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bunch of cash. He pulled two fifties off the top. "Let's start here." I reached for the money, but he held it back. He handed me one fifty. "You get the other fifty if this works."

I smiled. "Oh, it'll work." I pulled off my shirt and helped him remove his. He reclined on the bed and started to unfasten his pants. I pulled them off of his legs. Then I saw his cock. Even soft, it was one of the most magnificent ones I'd ever seen, and I'd seen my share, believe me. The muscular body, the bronze skin, just the right amount of hair … were all turn ons for me.

"Strip." He commanded. I slowly and sensually pulled off my jeans and underwear, swaying my hips a bit as I went. He moaned slightly and pulled at his dick, trying to bring it to life.

I lay down on the bed with my feet at the pillow end. I took his fabulous cock into my mouth. I licked it. I sucked on it. I stroked it with my hands. I gingerly cupped his balls, real and artificial, in my hand. The taste of him, the smell of him was so hot for me. I got so turned on I had to roll onto my side so my stiff dick could have room. When Brian saw it he licked his lips and reached to stroke it. I was leaking pre-cum and so fucking hard.

He got up on his hands and knees and placed his body over mine. He shoved his cock into my mouth and placed his lips around my dick. Then I felt it – we felt it. He was getting hard. He pumped his hips up and down. I deep throated as much of his nine inches of manhood as I could. I used every gag-reflex fighting technique I had. God, he was magnificent! And the blow job I was getting was the best I'd ever gotten. The combination of feeling his excitement building and my own was almost mind-blowing. I wanted to make sure he came first and it was all I could do to keep my peak from happening. Finally, he yelled out his orgasm, all the while continuing his work on my cock. The vibrations of his vocalizations were intensely exciting for me. A full load of juicy cum spilled into my throat. I reciprocated with my own load into his mouth, which was met with hungry passion.

Brian rolled to his side, panting and smiling. "Fuck, that was great." He sat up and turned his body around so that we were face to face on the bed. His eyes glistened a little and I could see the appreciation in his face. "Thank you."

"Thank _you_."

"I owe you fifty bucks." He said.

"I hate to charge you more after you sucked me off so expertly yourself." I said, still breathing heavy.

"Wanna make it three hundred total?"

"Oh, yeah. But I didn't think you paid for sex."

"I'm so fucking turned on right now, I don't want to stop. Money's no object. I suppose you need it up front?"

"I know you're good for it. I saw your cash."

And that's when he kissed me for the first time. It started out soft and tender, but soon became a battle for tongue supremacy. I let him win. Fuck, it was hot. It was the single most perfect kiss I'd ever received. It took only a few minutes for him to get hard again. He stopped long enough to pull condoms and lube from the nightstand. He lubed me and I fingered my ass to prepare myself. He put on a condom, licked his lips and moaned a little at my actions. Brian moved my legs to his shoulders and, in one steady motion, entered me.

I was so used to topping my customers. Very few times had I bottomed for someone. I love bottoming and find great satisfaction every time I do. But, of course, the guys that I had been with like that were all not-so-hot older queers who had to pay for the privilege. But, here I am with Brian, the stud of Liberty Avenue. He was newly regenerated and eager as hell to give me the ride of my life. _And it was_.

We started with me on my back, and then progressed to me riding him, straddling his magnificent cock. Then I was on my stomach as he pounded me into the mattress. Over and over again he thrust into me. Sweat was pouring from his body as he bit at my neck and kissed me. He pulled me up onto all fours and pulled at my hips so hard he left small bruises at my hips. I didn't care. I wanted it all – the pleasure, the pain, the sweat. I wanted _him_.

Finally, I was on my back again with him on top. We had been at it for quite a while at this point. I couldn't take it anymore and stroked myself until I came. He followed me over the edge and was soon yelling out his sweet release. He collapsed onto me, our sweat mingling with my cum. Fuck, it was so good.

We showered and then returned to the bed. The only thing he said was, "Stay the night?"

"Yes. I'll stay."

We fucked well into the night and finally collapsed in exhaustion as the sun was coming up.


	3. Chapter 3

Around ten in the morning I woke up and realized what time it was. I had an eleven am shift to get ready for. I looked over at Brian and he was sleeping so peacefully. When he's awake there was always this 'mask' to guard his emotions, like he doesn't want anyone to know what he's thinking. But asleep, I saw the fully relaxed Brian. He was beautiful. I found a piece of paper and a pencil and started sketching him. His torso was uncovered and his cock was lying against his body. I managed to finish a pretty good sketch before he woke up and saw me drawing him.

"Hey. You're still here?" He said with a rough morning voice.

"I'm just getting ready to go to work." I put down my sketch and started to get dressed.

He rolled over to look at the drawing. "This is very good. I'm pretty sure you took a little poetic license with the size of my dick, though." He chuckled.

I smiled at him. "It's how big you felt last night after that first hard on."

"No shit. I felt twice that big." He pulled me to him and we kissed. "I'd consider that an ego boost, but you're paid to say nice things." He got up to get the two hundred fifty dollars out of his jeans pocket.

I took the cash. "Believe me. I could just say 'Wow that was great' and leave. But you were _fucking amazing_ last night."

"I was, wasn't I? Fucking amazing and it was amazing fucking." He winked as he pulled on a pair of sweatpants.

"Anytime you want to do it again … you have my number." I said.

He looked at me sweetly and said, "I don't do repeats. Paid or otherwise."

"Suit yourself." I said casually and turned to head to the door. I was a little disappointed that it seemed this was going to be the one and only time with this man.

He asked, "Did you drive yourself?"

I laughed. "I don't have a car. I'm the prince of mass-transit and walking. I can't afford anything else. I have just enough for rent. Sometimes eating is optional." As if on cue, my stomach growled so loud that we both could hear it.

He paused and then said, "Justin..."

"Yes?" I said hopefully.

"If someone like me requested the occasional blow job and gave you one hundred bucks for the privilege - that would help your income, right?"

"I don't need to work for pity."

"How convenient, because pity makes my dick soft. No, I mean a regular transaction where you help me, uh, maintain the equipment and I pay you for it."

"I don't know." Secretly, I was thrilled at the prospect of having a regular thing with him, even if it was just cock worship. But, I had to be sure that he wasn't just throwing money at the starving artist to make himself feel better.

"Strictly business. You work at the coffee shop, right? And you deliver? I know my assistant, Cynthia, has gotten deliveries from Pitts Perk."

"Yeah, we deliver."

"So, if I call, ask for you and request a tall latte with extra cream, you'd know what I really want?" He smiled with one eyebrow quirked in question.

I grinned. I approached him and rubbed the burgeoning hard on in his pants. "I'm sure I know who'll actually be swallowing the cream." He kissed me. "But, I thought you could get that anytime from any guy …"

"_Any guy_ isn't easy to find at three in the afternoon on a Tuesday when I have a blazingly hard dick and no place to put it." He smiled. "Besides, I appreciate your _many_ talents."

That satisfied me that he was sincere. "OK." I reached into my pocket and pulled out a business card. I wrote some numbers on the back. "Here are my 'Perk' hours. Hell, if you want, uh, extra cream, when I'm not at work, I'll be happy to deliver any kind of coffee you'd like."

"The coffee doesn't matter. What does matter is that you bring that sweet mouth of yours." He held my face and ran his thumb over my lower lip. I sucked it into my mouth for a second. He gave me an appreciative sexy grin. "Now get out of here or you'll be late for work."

"Later."

"Later."

He swatted me on the ass and closed the door. I was so happy. I had a new customer. It looked like he was going to be a regular. And doing whatever he wanted was not going to be a chore. It would be my pleasure.

Sure enough, about five days later, I got a phone call while I was at work. A Mr. Kinney from Kinnetik was requesting that I deliver a tall latte with extra cream. I eagerly prepared the latte and practically ran to Kinnetik.

Cynthia greeted me and motioned me inside Brian's office. She had a knowing look on her face, like she knew the real reason I was there.

Brian smiled as I entered. "It's about time you got here."

I was still catching my breath. "I … ran. … I can't come any faster." I handed him the latte.

"More importantly, how fast can you make me come?" He set the cup on his desk and took my hand.

He led me to his executive washroom. There was the standard toilet and sink. There was a small shower, which wasn't surprising when you consider it used to be a bath house. At the back of the narrow room was a leather chair. He proceeded to the chair and turned to face me. He began to unzip his pants, a job which I happily finished for him. He pulled at his pants, indicating that he wanted to remove them altogether. I helped him as I watched that great cock spring to life. He sat in the chair and I knelt in front of him.

I proceeded to my task. I ran my tongue around the tip of his cock, circling the head with licks. Then I licked up and down the shaft and paid some attention to his balls. Then I put his dick in my mouth. I took him in slowly at first, and then increased my speed as well as the depth of the blow job. Pretty soon I was moving at a quick pace with almost all of him in my mouth and down my throat. I'd developed a pretty good technique over the years and Brian was obviously appreciating my work.

"Fuck, Justin. That feels so good." I'd take him in again. "God! That's it."

His hand went gently through my hair. I looked up at him. His eyes were closed and his mouth was open. I continued for some time at a quick pace. I held him as his hips rocked slightly in reaction to all that was going on. I could tell he was getting close.

"Jesus, I'm going to …" With that, he came with all of his juicy goodness. I swallowed every bit of his delicious _extra cream_.

When his last pulse of orgasm subsided, I released his dick from my mouth. The open mouth now had a large smile. "Fantastic." He said. "Wow."

"I'm happy to be of service." I said, licking my lips.

He got dressed and I followed him back into his office. He pulled out the cash. Then, he did something that surprised me. As he held the money in one hand, his other hand went behind my head and he kissed me. No tongue, but his lips were pressed deep onto mine. It was … affectionate, even caring and sweet. As the kiss ended, he smiled and said, "I'll be sure to call again soon."

"Sure. Any time." I said appreciatively. I left his office, nodded at Cynthia and went back to work.

Indeed, he did call again. I'd say I'd get a call from his office every four days or so. The extra cash was amazing. Being able to give blow jobs to such a magnificent cock was amazing. But, my favorite part was the ending kiss that happened every time. Sure, I appreciated the money, but the kiss ... damn.

Most of the staff of Pittsburgh Perk was oblivious to my special arrangement, but Janice got wise. When the phone would ring, I'd jump and scramble to answer it. If it wasn't Kinnetik I must have shown obvious signs of disappointment.

She finally asked, "What's going on with you and Kinnetik? More specifically, with you and Brian Kinney?"

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about." I grinned.

"I see the connection you guys have. The heat is palpable, Justin. Is he fucking you?"

"No!" I gathered a garbage bag for the trash in the alley.

She followed me out to the alley. "He's gorgeous. You have a crush on him, don't you?"

I sighed, like this was some junior high query. "Yeah, I guess."

"So what happens when you go to Kinnetik?"

"I deliver lattes."

"Don't bullshit me, Justin. Come on. I won't tell anyone. I'm just dying to know. I have a crush on him, too."

I grinned a little. "Promise not to tell?"

"Cross my heart, hope to die."

I looked both ways to check if the coast was clear. "I blow him."

"No shit." She opened her mouth in shock. "Oh, my God." She paused. "I bet he's got a great cock." She gave me an inquisitive glance.

I nodded. "It's magnificent."

"Has he ever fucked you?"

"Once. That was magnificent, too. But, he has an _only once_ policy."

"Keep working on him. He's been in and out of this shop a hundred times, but I've never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you."

"Thanks, Janice." We hugged. She and I became much closer that day. She never told anyone about my special latte arrangement with Brian. I confided in her more often after that.

I'd always seemed to have problems with my living arrangements. First, my dad kicked me out, then Vaseline Towers, then I had a roommate who was a jerk.

One day I got home from work and JR laid into me right away. "Hey, asshole, where's the damn rent?"

"I have it. When have I ever been late with my share of the rent?"

He had no good answer because I'd never been a problem. "I don't know, I just need it right the fuck now." He moved closer to me like he was trying to dominate me. He's six foot three and weighs half again as much as I do.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the cash. "Here, now quit hassling me."

He grabbed the money just as our other roommate, Andy, entered the room. JR shoved me and was still in a pissy mood. "And stay the hell away from my johns."

"What are you talking about?"

"That black guy that was here last week. I went to take a piss and when I came back you were all over him."

"I gave him a beer and we talked in the kitchen. I never touched him. Fuck off."

He shoved me again. I shoved back. It escalated until he swung at me and his right fist connected with my left eye. I went down. Andy rushed over and tried to help me. JR stormed off. I put ice on my sore head, but I still got a black eye from it. I hated JR, but Andy and I needed him for the other third of the rent.

The next day I was at Pittsburgh Perk and I got the call for another delivery to Kinnetik. Shit. I didn't want Brian to see me with my shiner, but, what could I do? I needed the dough and I never wanted to turn down a regular customer, especially him. I made up the latte and entered the confines of Kinnetik. Cynthia showed concern over my eye.

"I ran into a door." I told her. She gave me a disappointed look and pointed to Brian's office.

As I entered his office, he looked up and got a look of shock on his face. "What the fuck happened to you?"

"I ran into a door."

"Don't bullshit me, Justin." He came up to me and put his hand on the side of my face. He gently ran his thumb over my shiner. If it was anyone else, I'd have flinched out of the way, but I trusted him. "Looks like a fist mark to me." He raised his eyebrows in inquiry.

I sighed in resignation and relayed the story of my confrontation with JR.

He'd heard me complain about my large roommate before, so this wasn't surprising to him. "How long have you been there?"

"A couple of years now."

"Can you get out of the lease?"

"Yeah, I suppose, but it's the only place I can afford."

"Do you ever take your, uh, business home with you?"

"No, I only meet johns at their place, a motel, whatever. It's too dangerous for them to know where I live."

He looked at me thoughtfully and sat at his desk. "You know Deb from the Diner?"

"Yeah, she's great. Why?"

He held up his finger and dialed his desk phone on speaker. He got Deb on the line and explained that he knew of someone who might be interested in renting Michael's old room. I spoke up and talked to Deb about her rent terms and we came to an agreement. I thanked her and Brian ended the call.

"Thanks, Brian."

"She'll feed you, too. Hell, she'll _overfeed_ you. You'd better watch yourself. You don't want to lose that figure." He gave me a casual grin and then nodded his head in the direction of his executive washroom. That was another hot session.

The next day Janice and I brought my stuff to Deb's. Deb is great to me and like a second mom. Carl is a father figure who was accepting of my homosexuality. It wasn't something I'm used to. I appreciated his support and grew to love both Deb and Carl.


	4. Chapter 4

One Wednesday morning, I was making yet another special latte delivery when I ran into Ted outside Brian's office. I'd gotten to know Kinnetik's accountant pretty well. "Hey, Ted."

"Hi, Justin. Here for another delivery?"

"Yeah, he just called a few minutes ago."

Ted gave me a knowing grin. Brian and I weren't fooling anyone with our coffee patron act. "Well, I need just a minute with him, first, OK?"

"Sure."

Brian motioned for us to enter. He gave a polite grin to both of us. "Hey, Justin. What's up, Ted?"

"The art department is screaming that they need more help. I've gone over the books and we can afford to hire someone with a moderate starting salary. I can work with Cynthia to get some candidates lined up, if you want."

"I'm going out of town for a week and I really don't want to waste a lot of time right now with interviews and shit." He looked at me. "Justin, you have an associates in art, right?"

"Yes. I have a portfolio, if you'd like to see it." I glanced from Brian to Ted.

"Swing by at four this afternoon. Ted, arrange for John from the art department to meet with Justin. If I can, I'll be there, too. Tell Cynthia. As far as I'm concerned, he's the candidate for the job. I've seen his drawings and he's good."

Ted smiled. "Great, boss. Justin, check in with Cynthia before you leave, OK?"

"Sure! Thanks." Ted left the office to talk to Cynthia. I could see her grinning at me. I turned to Brian. "Thanks for this opportunity, but you don't have to."

Brian was never one to accept gratitude for an act of kindness. "Yeah, well, just make sure to impress the hell out of John."

"Yes, sir, Mr. Kinney."

"Now, our usual appointment, Mr. Taylor?" He motioned toward the bathroom.

I hesitated a second. "I don't want anyone here to think that our little meetings are the reason I'm being considered for the job."

He put his hand on my back and gently pushed me to the door. "Get over it. If you can do well, they'll soon forget any other details. Other than an occasional chat, though, no fraternizing at work. It's company policy. I should know, I wrote it." We'd reached the chair at the back of the bathroom. He turned me to him and took my face in his hands. "Of course, I could still get a craving for your special lattes _after_ work sometimes."

"Today's is on the house." I said as I started to unfasten his pants. I wanted to show him my gratitude.

"Now, Mr. Taylor, I insist on paying. We don't want anyone to think you're giving _me_ special treatment."

"I've got your special treatment right here." I pushed him onto the chair and slid his pants off of his long legs. "Are you sure you don't want this while I'm working here, Mr. Kinney?" I took his stiff cock in my hand.

"Hmm, don't tempt me."

I gave him a sexy grin and licked his tip. "It could give a whole 'nother meaning to coffee break, you know."

"It's a policy that …" Before he could say anything further I took his entire length into my mouth and sucked hard. "Fuck!" I swirled my tongue around the tip and worked my magic. "Jesus, Justin!" I gave it everything I had, working the shaft with my lips and palming his balls. "You might make me want to break _more than one_ rule if you keep that up."

I chuckled a little bit, all the while continuing my task. My mind wondered what other kind of rule he'd be willing to break for me. No fraternizing at work was the first one. No paying for sex? Maybe – did that once already. No repeats? That was a nice fantasy – to be with him again. No boyfriends? Hmm.

He moaned and ran his fingers through my hair as I continued. I was enjoying the sounds emitted from those luscious lips. I loved watching him writhing at my touch. His excitement built up until he couldn't hold it any more.

"Oh, yeah, that's it. Here I come….. Aaaahhhh!"

I took in all of his juices and gave him a minute to come down. I helped him gather his clothes. After he dressed, we returned to his office. He pulled me in close and held my face with his hand. He paid me with his usual simultaneous kiss and I left, promising to return at four.

That afternoon I was at Kinnetik at 3:45 with my portfolio over my shoulder and eager for the job. I met with Ted, John and Cynthia. As we were finishing and I was being showered with compliments on my work, Brian breezed in.

"How is his portfolio, John?"

"Excellent, Brian."

Brian gave a questioning glance to Ted and Cynthia, who were both giving him positive looks. He turned to me and shook my hand. "Two week probation is standard here. Welcome to Kinnetik, Justin."

I stood up and continued to shake his hand. "Thanks, Brian."

"Ted, get his info for payroll. Cynthia, make sure he has what he needs. Thanks John."

"Thank _you_, Brian. Justin, I'll see you Monday." John shook my hand and then turned to leave.

Brian looked at Ted and Cynthia. "Give us a minute and he'll be out." They nodded and left. Brian turned to me, put his arm around me and pulled me in. He whispered in my ear, "Do you have the balls for this?"

"By last count, I have more than you do."

"Physical attributes, real and artificial, aside, I'll always have more balls than you."

I snickered and then looked him squarely in the eye. "I can do the job, Brian."

"Don't fuck this up."

I wasn't taking any of his shit. "When have I ever disappointed you, Brian? I'm going to kick ass. You'll see."

A smile crossed his face. "Confidence. I like it." He motioned his head towards the door. "I have to get ready for a business trip to New York." He paused. "Have you ever considered moving there to pursue your art?"

"I thought about it, but after my starving existence when I was first out of my parents' house, I'm not looking to move to a new city and start the process over again. I love to paint when I can afford it, but with no agent and no experience to speak of, I don't see it happening. I definitely don't want to move to a new city and start over."

He seemed relieved that I wasn't interested in moving away, and I didn't think it was because he needed someone in the art department. "My next trip to New York, you can travel with me as the art department concept artist. For now, though, you've got to get out of here. I'll see you when I get back."

"OK." I was so happy that I couldn't resist. I grabbed his head and planted a kiss on his lips. "Bon Voyage. Miss me."

As I turned to leave, I could hear him say, "Little shit."

I told the folks at Pittsburgh Perk about my new job and gave my two day notice there. Janice was sorry to see me go, but she understood. Working at 'Perk brought in a few bucks, but the new job deserved my full attention. I wanted to dedicate myself to Brian's company and prove I could do it.

I started at Kinnetik the following Monday. John and the rest of the folks were very welcoming. At first, I could hear little whispers, as I suspected I would. But, Brian was right; soon they were all interested in my work and not any liaisons that I'd had with him in the past.

Brian was on his business trip to New York and landed a big account that week. He returned from his trip on Saturday.

The next day it was time, once again, for Sunday night dinner at Deb Novotny's, which had been a tradition for years. She'd invite family and friends. It was a standing invitation to the select few. Once I moved into Deb's house I was automatically included. Usual attendees were Carl, Michael and Ben, sometimes Hunter. Ted and Emmett were often there. Lindsay, Mel and Gus were there at least once a month.

Then there was Brian. He was always invited because, after all, he was like a second son to Deb. About half of the time he wouldn't show, though. The Sunday after his return from New York, though, he deemed to show up. All of the aforementioned folks were there. I was glad that Brian was there because I had something I wanted to share with the gang. As everyone gathered around the table and began to dive into the ziti and garlic bread, Deb asked if anyone had any news that they'd like to share. Mel talked about her last ultrasound and how well the baby was doing. She was due to pop within the next couple of weeks.

Then I spoke. "Yeah, Deb. I have something to share."

"Sure, honey, what is it?"

"Well you all know that, for a few years now, my primary source of income has been, uh, hustling. Well, since I've got the new steady job at Kinnetik and I got my first paycheck, I've decided to give up my customers. I will no longer be selling myself for money."

"That's great, Sunshine!" Deb said. There were many other similar comments. I appreciated that they had all been understanding of my profession for the months that they'd known me. But, they all were genuinely glad that I was giving it up.

I glanced at Brian, who had a half-hearted smile. He said, "Not selling yourself, just other things."

"Right." I said.

"Good for you." He said softly before sipping some more wine. For the rest of the dinner he was uncharacteristically quiet.

As soon as dinner was over, he excused himself to go outside for a cigarette. I threw a coat on and followed him. I stood next to him and he silently offered a cigarette, which I turned down. "No, I'm trying to give it up."

"No hustling, no smoking? A regular choir boy." He looked away and exhaled some smoke.

"Are you OK?" I asked.

"Sure. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You're kinda quiet."

"Everybody else has plenty to talk about."

"Are you mad at me? I thought you'd be happy that I can stop my … secondary income."

"It's fine."

Then I realized what was wrong. For the last few months he'd regularly call me for his special coffee orders and I'd delivered per our arrangement. Now he was losing the source of that regular satisfaction. "It's because I won't be providing lattes with extra cream, isn't it?"

"I assume that those deliveries are no longer possible, even _after_ work."

"Well, uh, no."

His pulled his lips into his mouth when he realized that I'd figured him out. "We _did_ have pretty good regular thing."

I was touched that he'd thought so much of our encounters that he'd actually miss them. I'd miss them, too, but I was starting a new way of life and those extra-curricular activities weren't going to be a part of it. I wanted freedom to express myself artistically at work and with my paintings. Sex, of any kind, wasn't on my list, at least not now. I'd done it professionally for years. Of course, there was the option of pursuing a sexual relationship with someone for my own pleasure. I could date a guy and fool around for fun and satisfaction. I could even pick up some trick from a bar and let him fuck me to get off in a back room. None of that appealed to me, though.

I was OK keeping emotional distance with my johns. I never had to get involved in their lives, nor did they need to be a part of mine. I didn't worry about getting attached or developing feelings for them. They were nice guys and I appreciated them for what they were, a source of income, but I was not broken hearted leaving them to another hustler.

I felt that, if I had sex with Brian again, I'd fall in love with him. Professionally blowing him was OK for letting me keep emotional distance, but _fucking_ was another matter. I was already finding myself weak in the knees when he smiled at me. I'd fantasize about him. I remembered our one fabulous night together. But, I couldn't do it again. Hooking up with anyone was too scary for me. I wanted to protect myself from heartbreak. Brian was a fuck-'em-and leave 'em kind of guy. It was his choice and I respected that. I suspected he was also afraid of letting another heart touch his.

So, there we were on Deb's back porch. I realized that he liked me enough that he'd miss our sessions, but neither of us willing to take a chance at more.

I said, "I'm sorry if my retirement will leave a void in your life, but I'm sure you'll find plenty of willing volunteers."

"It won't be a problem, Sunshine. Don't worry about me." He gave a faint grin, ground out the last of his cigarette, and then went back inside. I hung around outside and pondered what our future held, if there even was an 'us'. I went back inside and spent the rest of the evening playing with Gus. I'd occasionally look over at Brian and once caught him smiling at Gus and me.


	5. Chapter 5

About a month later on a Friday afternoon I ran into Brian at the break room at Kinnetik. "Hey, Brian."

"Justin. How goes the art department today? Are you guys going to have the boards for Brown Athletics done soon?"

"I'm just pasting them up now."

"No, you're not. You're standing here bullshitting with me."

I cocked my head and said, "Sorry. I'll get right on it." I started to leave.

He chuckled. "Hey, I wanted to ask you something."

"Yeah?" I thought it was going to be another work-related request like sketch a concept or something.

"Lindsay is dropping off Gus this afternoon. He wants to watch 'Yellow Submarine'. That's one of your favorites, isn't it?"

I was surprised that he remembered that from a discussion around Deb's dining table about favorite movies. "Yeah. That's my favorite movie."

"Why don't you come over? I'm ordering pizza. He'll be over from about four to maybe eight." He sipped his coffee. "I thought you could help me. You're very good with him."

"Sure."

"I'll see you around four, then." He smiled and left the break room. I stood there, rather stunned. It wasn't really a date, but, _Brian Kinney wanted to spend time with me_.

I got to Brian's loft around four fifteen or so. He answered the door. Gus was already there.

I apologized. "I'm sorry I'm late. The snow is pretty deep, so the buses are slow and I had to walk a few blocks."

"Your feet are soaking wet. Take off your shoes and socks. I'll get you something to put on your feet."

I set the wet shoes aside and peeled of the wet socks. Brian gave me a pair of socks and slippers to wear. The socks fit OK. The slippers were too big for me, but felt good around my cold feet. I thanked him and started playing with Gus.

Brian ordered pizza to be delivered and we sat and watched the movie. He put my sneakers and socks in his drier. Gus gobbled up pizza and we drew pictures. We talked and laughed. It was really a nice time and I could tell that Brian appreciated that I was helping with babysitting. Gus, at three years old, could be kind of a handful at times.

One time, after Brian and Gus returned from a potty break, they found me reclined on the floor pad. Gus jumped on me, started tickling me and had me laughing really hard. Brian bent over to pull Gus off of me and the kid and I pulled him down with us. After some tickle attacks, we all lay there, chuckling. I looked over at Brian and he gave me this genuine, warm smile. Gus scooted down to the pad by our feet to continue watching the movie.

I started to sit up, but Brian held me back. He pulled me to him and kissed me. The kiss started soft and tender and then became more passionate. It was really only the second time that he had kissed me like that. I could feel myself falling. The taste of him, the feel of his lips on mine was too much.

As the kiss ended, we heard a knock at the door. The spell was temporarily broken.

Gus jumped up. "Mommy's here."

Brian said, "Stay until the movie's over." He turned to me. "It's almost over, right?"

I nodded as he went to answer the door. Lindsay entered the loft and was surprised to see me sitting with Gus. We all chatted while he finished the movie. I helped him gather his things while Lindsay and Brian conversed in the kitchen area. They didn't realize it, but I could hear them talking.

"So, are you and Justin dating?"

"No, he's just helping me out tonight with the rug rat."

"Too bad. I think you two would be good together."

"Not everyone is looking to hook up for eternity."

"Why not? Is that such a bad thing? One of these days you're going to have to open yourself up to the possibility, Brian."

"Hmm. Let me ask you about you and Mel, then. How the fuck is she? I haven't seen you guys together much."

He'd obviously struck a chord with her. "Shut up, Brian. We're fine."

"Yeah, right."

Lindsay said, "Justin is very talented. You're lucky to have him at Kinnetik. He could make a go of it as an artist if he moved to New York."

"He says he doesn't want to start all over again in another city."

"So you talked about it?"

"When he started working for me, for Kinnetik, I asked him because I wanted to know if my new hire was going to disappear in a couple of years. But, no." He turned to us. "Gus, buddy, are you ready to go?"

"Can't I stay tonight, Daddy?"

"Not this time, bud. Maybe next time. Say goodnight to Justin."

Gus gave me a hug to rival the one he gave Brian. We all said goodnight and Lindsay and Gus went out to face the winter evening. I went to the drier to retrieve my footwear and started putting them on.

"Going somewhere?"

"Well, Gus is out of here, so you don't need me anymore."

"Stay."

"I didn't think you did repeats, Brian." He just shrugged his shoulders. I got up to retrieve my jacket, which was near where he was standing. "No, thanks."

"C'mon, it's for shit outside." He reached for me and brushed my hair out of my eyes. "Stay the night."

I looked into his beautiful hazel eyes. I knew what it'd mean if I stayed. I couldn't risk losing my heart. "I … I can't."

"Why not?"

"I want to concentrate on my art and my new job for Kinnetik. I don't want to start any relationships right now."

"Who's talking about a relationship? I just want to sleep with you." He pressed his lips to my neck, leaving no room for error in interpretation as to what 'sleep with you' meant. It intrigued me that he didn't say 'I just want to_ fuck _you.' which would have been more like him. It gave me a hint that his feelings for me were changing.

"No, I have to go." I released myself from his gentle hold and put on my jacket.

"At least let me drive you home."

"No, thanks, I'll walk it. Good night."

Brian stood in the doorway. "One of these days, Justin, when you're ready, you'll give yourself to me."

I smiled, slipped past him and left. I heard the door shut. On the way home, I heard a song on my radio. My heart was already torn up, saying 'no' to Brian. Hearing the song made a tear run down my face.

_I really hate to let this moment go._

_Touching your skin and your hair falling slow._

_When a goodbye kiss feels like this._

_Don't you wanna stay here a little while?_

_Don't you wanna hold each other tight?_

_Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?_

_Don't you wanna stay here a little while?_

_We can make forever feel this way._

_Don't you wanna stay?_

_Let's take it slow, I don't wanna move too fast._

_I don't wanna just make love, I wanna make love last._

_When you're up this high, it's a sad goodbye._

_Don't you wanna stay here a little while?_

_Don't you wanna hold each other tight?_

_Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?_

_Don't you wanna stay here a little while?_

_We can make forever feel this way._

_Don't you wanna stay?_

_Oh, you feel so perfect, baby._

_Yeah, you feel so perfect, baby._

_Don't you wanna stay here a little while? "Don't You Wanna Stay?" – Lyrics by Jason Aldean_

The next time that Gus was coming over for a visit, Brian asked again if I'd come over. The plan was for Gus to have a 'Daddy's place' sleepover, so I didn't have to worry about an invitation to stay. After I read Gus a bedtime story and the kid crashed for the night, Brian and I had a goodnight hug and I headed home.

The time after that, however, Lindsay came to pick up Gus. Same as before, Brian asked me to stay. I was very tempted, you have to understand. He has this smoldering sexuality that's hard to resist. But I didn't want to be another notch on his belt, another fuck, another trick. On the other hand, I was pretty sure our friendship had gone beyond any that he'd had with a sexual partner before. He knew my name, my likes, dislikes, and how I felt about things. He really seemed to care.

I cared about him. He is successful in his own business. He has this no apologies, no regrets lifestyle that I admire. He's a great dad and caring friend to many.

Working at Kinnetik was great for me. I really loved how I could incorporate my artistic talents into my work. Sure, some of the work was tedious, but there were times when my sketches would be turned into a million dollar ad campaign. It was gratifying. Another bonus was that I had access to a room that I could use as a studio after hours. The building that houses Kinnetik used to be a bath house, complete with steam room and boiler room. John (my boss), Janice and I converted the old boiler room into a small studio for me. I could slop paints and nobody cared. I really wanted to work with large canvases, but the size of the room limited that. I didn't care at the time. I was just happy to have a place to work.

The holidays were tough for me after my Dad kicked me out. Brian told me he never liked the holidays much, either. That Christmas Eve, we were both at Deb's and watched everyone else having their holiday fun. I asked him what he was doing for Christmas Day. Other than a morning visit to 'the munchers' house to see Gus open his gifts, he had the rest of the day with nothing going on.

Christmas morning I talked to my Mom and my sister on the phone and we made plans to see each other the next day. I was feeling pretty lonely, so I decided to drop by Brian's so we could have an un-holiday together, even if it was just to share a drink. I bought a bottle of his favorite scotch and rang his buzzer.

Debbie's cheery voice came over the intercom. "Brian's house of fun, may I help you?"

"Yeah, Deb? Um, hi, it's me Justin. Can I come up?"

"Sure, honey!" The buzzer rang. I entered the building and I took the elevator.

I found the loft door open. Deb waved me in and hugged me. "Hey, kiddo."

Brian was sprawled on the couch, smoking a joint. He asked, "Justin, what are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd come by for a visit. Make sure you weren't alone for the holiday. Hell, I need company, too. But, I see you already have ..."

"I was just leaving, Sunshine." Deb got her coat on. She pulled me aside. "He could use a visit, so it's good you're here. He'd never admit it, but he's feeling lonely today. Linds and Mel took off with Gus to Lindsay's mom's house about an hour after Brian showed up, so he didn't get much time with the kid. Something about brunch with mummy or some bullshit. Anyway, you'll be here awhile?"

"Yeah, Deb. I've got no place either."

"You two need each other."

"We're just friends, Deb."

She grabbed my face in her fashion. "You both could use some love." She stepped back and sighed. "Even if it's the love of friendship."

I nodded and she kissed me on the cheek. "I'll be home later, Deb."

"Stay as long as you like. I won't wait up." She went up to Brian and kissed him on the forehead. "'Bye, Brian. Take care." He mumbled a response.

She winked at me and left. I closed the door and sat at the foot of the couch. I eyed a large bowl of food on the coffee table with two forks in it.

"What's this?" I asked, poking it with one of the forks.

"Debbie's famous tuna noodle casserole. She tells me that it was my favorite when I was younger. To tell you the truth, I don't remember. She brings me some when she thinks I'm depressed."

I chuckled. "Well, this is what I bring." I held up the bottle of Jim Beam.

"Now, that's more like it! Don't just sit there, pour."

I put a shot in two glasses. We sat on the couch and drank. My thoughts turned back to Deb. "How often has she brought you the casserole?"

"Let's see. After I outed Mikey to his co-worker so that he'd run to the arms of Dr. David Asshole." I gave a questioning look. Brian chuckled and said, "It's a long story."

"OK." I smiled.

"And once after cancer surgery. She provided casserole and I provided some joints. She asked me if I'd fucked anybody since the operation. I must have been stoned because I admitted that I couldn't." He snorted a laugh. "She's actually the one that suggested that I request your services."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I phoned you the next day." He took a drag on his joint. "That was good advice she gave me."

"I'm glad that I didn't disappoint."

He leaned toward me and kissed me. "Never." I didn't want to get too close, so I got up to use the bathroom.

We shared some of the scotch and two joints. We talked about everything from past Christmases, to music, literature … you name it, and we covered it. We got pretty drunk and pretty high. Brian was farther gone than I was. After he went to the bathroom, I steered him toward his bed. I got his jeans off of him, leaving him in his boxer briefs and tank top. I managed to get him under his comforter.

He grabbed my hand. "You're too shitfaced to make it home. Just sack out here, Justin."

"Yeah, maybe a good idea. I take the couch. G'nite."

"Come on, there's more than enough room here." He patted the bed next to him.

"You're too irresistible, Mr. Kinney. I can't be sleeping with the boss." I kissed him. "G'nite."

I grabbed a pillow and went to the living room. Brian was too far gone to get up and try anything with me there. I'm pretty sure he was out seconds after I left the bedroom.

I lay on the couch trying to decide if I was doing the right thing. What would be so bad about losing my heart to Brian? I really didn't want to take up with someone who would continue to be with every other guy in town. I wanted to have some kind of assurance that he, or whoever I was with, would at least try fidelity in some fashion. Part of me knew, though, that I was falling in love with him, whether it was a good idea or not. I finally let the substances of the night take me over and I drifted off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

In the morning, I woke up to see Brian leaning over me. "Good morning." He threw his body on top of mine. "Sleep OK?"

I chuckled a little. "Get off, asshole." I pushed him and he reluctantly complied. I said, "I'm going to the can."

He offered, "There are new toothbrushes in the cabinet."

"I'm sorry if my breath doth offend."

"Just a suggestion."

I brushed my teeth and found him in the kitchen, fully dressed. He asked, "Wanna hit the Diner? I'll buy."

"Sure." At the suggestion of food, my stomach growled. We both laughed. I put my shoes on and walked to the door.

Brian held me for a second. He ran his hands over my arms. "Why didn't you sleep with me last night?"

"I told you – you're too irresistible."

"So, why resist?"

"I'm not ready. I can't."

He lifted my chin with his finger and kissed me tenderly, like our post 'coffee' kisses of the past. "Someday, Justin."

We went to the Diner and Deb smiled as we entered. "Howdy, boys. Fun night?"

"Too much alcohol and not enough sex." Brian scrunched his face in my direction.

I gave a return glance, and then looked at Deb. "Not _any_ sex."

Deb smiled. "Brian, you're losing your touch."

"Nah, I was too far gone." He pulled me close enough to growl into my ear. "Next time, though, your ass is mine."

The next major event in our lives was the bombing at Babylon. I won't go into the details. Let's just say some asshole or group of assholes set a bomb that went off and killed a half dozen people and injured dozens more during a fundraiser to reject some anti-gay legislation.

I was inside the club when it happened, but came out with only a few scratches. I was very lucky.

Brian was in a limo to the airport when it happened. He had the driver turn around to check the scene. He's the owner of the club, but, more than that, he was concerned for all of us – the people who he knew were attending the fundraiser. He found me inside the club helping some of the injured. He rushed to me and hugged me.

We found out that Michael was seriously injured. I told Brian I'd go with him to the hospital. As we sat in the waiting room, Brian did something that really surprised me; he held my hand. I was glad for the shared comfort it gave us. Emmett and Ted noticed. Deb and Carl were exchanging glances. Finally, Brian got tired of them all staring and said to everyone in the group, "What the fuck are you looking at?" He stood up, still holding my hand and pulled me into the men's room.

I was concerned about him. I knew how close he and Michael are. I asked, "Are you OK?"

"No, I'm not fucking OK!" He took a breath, put his hands to either side of my face and touched our foreheads together. "With everything today, and then Mikey…" I pulled him in for a hug.

At this point in our relationship, I'd describe us as friends with benefits. We'd had sex once. There were the regular blow jobs, which had ended when I quit my secondary career. We saw each other at work, of course. And then there were the dinners at Deb's for the whole gang. We'd grown close. I hated to see him in pain over his friend, our friend. "It'll be OK, Brian." I didn't know what else to say.

"I'd tried you on your cell, but you didn't answer. I was so fucking scared that something had happened to you."

"I'm right here."

He nodded, looked down and brushed some dirt off of my clothes. I pulled his chin up until our eyes met. "I'm touched that you were that concerned over me."

He gave me a quick smile and then sighed again. "I'm sure you're as exhausted as I am. You can go home, you know."

I shook my head.

Brian continued, "As soon as I know that Mikey is out of the woods, I'm going home. Deb and Carl will be here for … God knows how long. The house will probably be empty."

I shook my head again. "I don't want to go back there alone."

"Then come back to the loft with me. How does a nice, long hot shower sound?" He gave me a sweet smile. It wasn't sexual, just friendly.

I thought about that wonderful shower of his. I'd enjoyed it once. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back imagining the water pouring over me. "That sounds wonderful."

"OK. It's set then. Unless you want to go back there now? I'll give you the key."

"No. No, thanks. I'll wait it out with you. I'm concerned, too." I put my hand out to hold his again.

"Good man." He took my hand.

A couple of hours later we got word that Michael was doing better and that his condition was no longer critical. Brian turned to me and said, "C'mon, Justin. Let's go and get you in that shower you've been looking forward to."

We returned to Brian's loft. As he locked the door, I started to undress. My clothes were covered in soot and I couldn't wait to get out of them. I wanted to wash it all away: all of the pain, all of the sadness.

The loft phone rang. Brian picked it up. "Hello? … Yeah, Lindsay, I'm OK. Michael is stable, so I came home." He continued his conversation. I motioned to him that I was going to take a shower and he nodded.

The shower felt so good. I expected that Brian might join me, but I could hear him talking on the phone. I finished the shower and wrapped a towel around myself.

He ended his conversation. "Yeah, 'Love you, too, Lindsay." He clicked off the phone.

"How is she?" I asked.

"Fine. She and Mel are back together and holed up at the house with the kids. They're still in shock over their friend, Dusty." He reached into his dresser. "Here's some boxers for you to wear. I'll find something else for you tomorrow – old sweats or something."

"Great, thanks."

"I'm going to take my shower now."

"Sure." I left him to it.

I listened to the water running and glimpsed Brian through the foggy glass. I was deep in thought, reflecting on what had happened at Babylon. What was I doing, going through life alone? Sure, I had a few casual friends, but I'd never dated. I never let another guy get close enough to me for me to care. What was I afraid of? Going through life alone? I'd already picked that fate for myself! How could it get any worse? Maybe there'd be heartache. Maybe there would be jealousy. Who cares? I had to open myself up to someone. My eyes turned back to Brian. Maybe…

He got out of the shower, dried off and came out wearing a towel. I was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed, wearing the boxers he'd given me. He asked. "Are you OK?"

"Yes. Uh, no. Oh, fuck I don't know. I'm still a little freaked out."

"Yeah, me, too." He sat next to me on the bed.

"I didn't think anything could get to you."

"There _is_ someone beneath this cold exterior."

"Actually, I could see that … with the way you care about Michael and everyone."

"Ben is really there for Mikey."

"Yes. I love watching the two of them together. They are really in love. You don't see that often." I sighed. "I wish I had that. I've got to change."

"I've been thinking about that, too. If something happened to me, who would care?"

"You have Michael, Lindsay and your son. There _are_ people who care about you."

"But no one that's mine alone. Special to me." He looked away. "I never thought I'd want that."

"Yeah. I've decided that I'm going to start dating, meeting guys, getting myself out there. Enough of this solitary crap. I can't live my life alone."

"Exactly."

I looked at him. He had a slightly vulnerable look to him. One that I hadn't seen before. He'd been wounded by what happened at Babylon, emotionally if not physically. So had I. I saw someone with the same needs as myself. "What are you looking for in a guy, then?"

His eyes gave me a once over. "He'd have to be honest, caring, smart and easy to get along with. He'd have to be OK with my friends, because, well, they are a part of me."

I chuckled. "They are that."

"And good with Gus."

"Of course."

He sat closer and put his hand around my shoulder, then ran his fingertips over my skin. He kissed my ear and breathed his next words into it. "I'd want someone that I find very attractive, very hot."

I was getting all of the signals he was sending me. He was choosing me. I couldn't think of anything that I wanted more. I ran my hand over his cheek and neck. "What else?"

He pushed me over onto my back. "He'd have to be a great lay, fucking hot in bed. Someone I could have sex with for hours." He rolled his body on top of mine. His towel fell open and I could feel his hard on pressed against me. I was so turned on. My heart was pounding in my chest.

I could barely speak. "Would it matter if the guy had been with a _lot_ of other guys?"

"Who am _I_ to judge that? No, that wouldn't matter." He kissed me. "I told you once that, when you were ready, you'd give yourself to me. Remember?"

I swallowed nervously. "I remember."

"Are you ready, Justin?"

I looked into his amazing hazel eyes and his hand stroked my face. I can tell you that that is the _precise_ moment that I fell in love with Brian Kinney. I knew that I was ready to give myself to him emotionally and physically. "Yes, Brian. I'm all yours."

Brian kissed me tenderly and then with more passion. His kissed his way down my body and started to lick and suck my cock. After a few minutes he licked his way back up, stopping at my nipples along the way. We kissed again and then I pushed off to flip us over. I mirrored his actions: kissing, licking and sucking. When I approached his cock, I licked my lips and took it into my mouth. It is so magnificent and it had been a while since our last 'extra cream' session.

"Fuck, I missed this so much!" He said.

I continued for a while and then brought my face up to his. "I think it's not so much that you want me around, just that you're addicted to my blow jobs." I smiled.

He pursed his lips and nodded with a straight face. "You're probably right … it's the blow jobs." He kissed me. "And the kisses." I could tell that there was much more he wanted to say, but had to get up the nerve. This was the 'new' Brian. This was a guy who was learning to express his true feelings, something he'd never done before. His eyes shone as they looked deep into mine. I looked down on him and smiled, waiting for his next thought. "And your sunshine smile." He kissed me again and thought some more. "And … you."

We continued kissing and his stiff cock was now in between my ass cheeks, teasing me. I never wanted someone inside me more than I did at that moment. I had been with many guys, but, all of them, even Brian, were paid customers. This time I wanted him because of the relationship we were starting and the incredible heat between us. "I want you so bad."

He reached for a condom and lube. He handed me the condom and said, "Put it on me." I did so and then he lubed his sheathed cock. We kissed over and over again until the heat between us was almost unbearable. We were both breathing heavily and his hands were all over me. When a finger poked into my entrance, I gasped, wanting more.

"Let's do this." He spoke with his lips against mine.

"Yes." I lowered myself onto him and rode him for some time. He sat up and we kissed over and over again. He put his hands under my ass to guide me up and down his shaft. Fuck, it felt so good.

Then he rolled us over so that he was on top. We never lost our lock on each other. We continued to kiss with great passion. I couldn't hold back any longer and stroked myself until I came. Brian pushed into me several more times and then reached his own vocal finish.

We cleaned up and held each other all night. Once, during the night, I woke up and Brian was behind me, his body snuggled up against me. His arm was around me and I'd never felt so secure, so warm, so loved.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning I awoke to him looking at me. He whispered in a rough voice, "Good morning, Sunshine."

I kissed him. "Good morning."

"Did you sleep all right?"

"Yes. The best sleep I've gotten in a while. Of course, we were pretty exhausted." He pulled me to him and I rested my head on his shoulder. I ran my hands over the sheets. "I love this bed."

"Then you should stay more often. I'll give you a key so you can let yourself in when you want to."

I leaned up on one elbow and looked at him questioningly. I couldn't believe that he was giving me access to his private domain. The whole idea of, what should I call it, dating, was pretty incredible from the night before … now he was letting me in – in more than one way. "A key to the loft?"

He smirked and reached for a cigarette from the nightstand. "No, the place up the street." He lit the cigarette and chuckled. "Yes, here."

"Thanks."

"Good. You should get some of your stuff from Deb's so you can be comfortable when you spend the night here."

We went back to the hospital and sat with the gang. Michael regained consciousness while we were in the waiting room. Ben called us in and Brian went up to Michael and held his hand. "How are you doing, Mikey? You had us all scared there, pal."

"I feel like a truck hit me. Other than that, I'm OK."

Brian placed a gentle kiss on Michael's lips. "I love you. Always have. Always will."

"I love you, too, Brian." He saw me standing behind Brian. "Hey, Justin. Did you come out OK?"

"Yes, Michael. I'm fine." I said. "I'm glad you're going to be all right." He nodded.

Brian stood up and put his arm around me. He kissed me on the cheek. I leaned my head against his shoulder.

Michael watched Brian's actions and gave us a look. He'd never seen Brian affectionate with anyone. "What's going on with you two?"

I looked at Brian, but elected to not say anything. 'Mikey' was his buddy since childhood. I decided to let Brian say what he wanted to.

Brian gave me a knowing look. "I've given Justin a key to my place. We'll be spending more time together."

"No shit." Michael was surprised.

I turned to Brian and smiled. He pulled me to him and kissed me. Then he said, "Yeah, we're going to make a go of it. Right, Sunshine?"

I just nodded, still being reticent about speaking.

Michael said, "It's not like you, Brian. Letting someone spend more than _one_ night with you is unbelievable!"

I finally had the guts to speak up. "Brian and I agreed we don't want to go through life alone, so we're going to be, uh, dating … boyfriends …?" I searched for the right word that wouldn't offend Brian's sensibilities.

Brian offered a description, "A regular thing." I smiled and he kissed me.

The nurse came into the room to take vitals, so Brian and I excused ourselves to the doorway of the room across the hall for a few minutes.

I said. "I'm sure Michael is surprised that you and I are together."

Brian shrugged. "He'll have to get used to it."

A handsome male nurse walked down the hallway and his eyes roamed Brian the whole time. Brian returned his glance with a half-smile.

After the nurse walked past, I said, "He's hot."

Brian gave a dismissive look. "Had him. He's the guy I was fucking when Ted woke up from his coma years ago."

I smiled. How could I think there was a hot guy in Pittsburgh that Brian _hadn't_ been with? "I remember you guys telling me about that." I looked at him thoughtfully. "Because I was going to say, if you wanted to go after him…"

He glanced at the disappearing figure. "Nope. No repeats." He looked back at me. "Except you." Then he moved toward me. "Besides, there's this smokin' hot guy that I can have any time."

"Lucky guy." We kissed passionately. I had something I wanted to talk about and this seemed the right time. "I just want to tell you that I'm not going to be going after any other guys. It's just you for me. But I can't expect you to do the same, considering your history."

"No, if we're going to do this, let's do this." He sighed. "I'm not going to be making promises, because I don't want to make any I can't keep, but I will say that I will do my damndest to be yours alone." He looked away. "I just can't promise that if I'm away on a three day business trip to Chicago and some guy at a bar offers…"

"I understand."

"Not that I'll be looking for it."

"It's fine."

The next Sunday, Michael had just gotten out of the hospital, so Deb's dinner was also a welcome home party for him. I had spent the night at Brian's, so we arrived together.

Michael was reclined on the couch, looking pretty good, considering all he'd been through. He brightened as we entered. "Hey, guys. How are you?"

"Great, Mikey. How are you feeling? Ready to hit the club tonight?" Brian asked as he sat next to him.

Michael laughed a little and then held his side. "It hurts to laugh. Knock it off."

Emmett and Ted were there, as well as Carl and Ben. Deb was buzzing about in the kitchen. Lindsay and Mel brought the kids. We all talked a little while and then I helped Carl set the table. Everyone gathered around and Brian made sure I had a spot next to him at the table.

Deb stood up. "Here's a toast to my son, Michael. It was a shitty thing to have happened to you, but I'm glad, as I'm sure we all are, that you're OK. Here's to Michael." We all raised a glass and drank. Then, Deb spoke again. She asked the same question every week. "Anybody else have any news to share?"

Michael looked at Brian and me. "Guys … Brian … tell everyone your news."

Brian looked indignantly at him. "Whatever do you mean, Mikey?"

"C'mon. About you and Justin…?"

Emmett looked at us, wide eyed. "Do tell."

Ted echoed the sentiment. "Yes, Brian, speak up."

Brian cleared his throat and looked at me. I shrugged. He looked back at the table full of attentive faces. "Justin and I are an _item_." There was surprise among the group.

Michael rolled his eyes. "That's it?"

I spoke up. "He gave me a key to his place. We're going to be seeing each other."

Emmett said, "That's great, you guys!"

Lindsay and Mel echoed similar sentiments, as well as Ben, Deb and Carl.

Ted, ever the skeptic, said, "And we're talking a personal relationship, not a professional one, right?"

Brian snarked, "Yes, Theodore, a personal one." I snickered a little. Brian turned to me and planted a big, hot kiss on my lips.

Gus jumped up and said, "Yay, Daddy and Jus'n!" He clapped his hands and ran over to where we were sitting. We both hugged him. He looked at us and asked, "Are you going to get married like my mommies?"

Brian grinned, "One thing at a time, buddy."

I said, "Maybe someday. Would you like that?"

He hugged me. "Yes, Jus'n. I want you to be my daddy, too."

I was overcome with emotion. The little guy had grabbed my heart as much as his father had. "I love you, Gus."

He buried his face in my neck. "'Love you, too, Jus'n."

Deb started to cry. Emmett was getting misty. I couldn't stop hugging Gus. Brian smiled warmly at the two of us. I felt like we were almost a family, in our own fashion.

Lindsay stood up and looked at us with a somber expression. She said, "This might not be the best time, but, Mel and I have an announcement, too. We can't put it off, I'm sorry. With all of the hate crimes and the hostile environment towards gays here in Pittsburgh, we've decided to move. We're going to take our family to Toronto."

The picture of my new family was shattered. I went from a great high to an incredible low. Gus was going to be taken away from me, from us. Everyone else in the room, including Brian, was amazed at the news. We all talked for quite some time, but the girls were firm. They were moving to the gay friendly city of Toronto. Having been subjected to prejudice and then being in the bombing, I understood their motivations.

Brian was silent on the way back to his place that night. I'd packed a bag after he asked me to stay with him again that night. Once we got to his place he stripped down to a robe and sat with a scotch in his hand.

I put on some sweatpants and sat next to him. "We'll still be able to visit Gus in Toronto. I'll go with you. It'll be OK."

"I don't want him growing up not knowing who his father is."

"I'll make scrapbooks and take photos. I'll set up e-mail accounts. There's this new ways of connecting via webcam over the Internet. Kevin in the art department was talking about it. We'll talk to Gus in a live video chat maybe once a week or so. He won't forget you."

Brian looked at me and gave a half-hearted smile. "It's no wonder Gus loves you."

I smiled at him and we kissed. He stopped short of telling me that he loved me, but I could see the light shining in his eyes. My eyes shone with the same light. He silently led me to the bed. We made love and slept, holding each other close.

I spent a lot of nights at Brian's, usually Friday through Sunday. We weren't really into a routine, though. There were always new things to do or try: backroom encounters at Babylon, a steam room tryst with some guy giving us both blow jobs at once, a hotel room with a hot tub for two. It was sexual pleasure like I'd never experienced before.

Brian was good about avoiding sex with other guys. Other than some oral play with another guy when we were together, I never saw him approach anyone else. He'd say "Not interested" to scores of guys every time we were out.

One day we were at Woody's with friends. Ted was there with Blake, who he'd hooked up with again after a ski trip. On the same trip, Emmett reconnected with an old flame, Cal, from Mississippi. They were both cohabitating with their new partners. It was good for Brian and me because, with his buddies in monogamous relationships, there weren't giving us (him) crap about ours.

On this particular night I walked up behind two queens who were talking about Brian.

"I hear he's dating that blond twink and won't fuck anyone else."

"That blond must have his balls in a vise. They're practically _married_."

My blood boiled. Those cunty queers had no idea what they were talking about. I had to do something. I stepped in front of them, much to their surprise. They gave me phony grins. I said, "I'll have you know that _this_ blond doesn't tell Brian what to do. And, for your information, he gets some every night of the week and twice a day on weekends." I looked one of them. "When's the last time you got laid?"

He sputtered, "It was, well, a few days ago."

"Uh huh. And you?" I asked the other.

"It's been a while."

His buddy snickered. "He hasn't gotten any in at least two months."

I sneered at them. "For me, it was around three this afternoon, and I'm sure, if he doesn't nail me in the bathroom later, we'll go back to his place and fuck all night and in every imaginable position." I grabbed their crotches. "I suck, I fuck, I fulfill his every fantasy, as he does mine." I squeezed, putting _their_ balls in a vise. "Don't pity him." They nodded intently. I released my grip and returned to Brian's side. He'd caught the last of my conversation with _the boys_.

"Nicely done, Taylor."

"Any time, Kinney. Anytime, anywhere…"

He made sure we were in full view of the pair of them. He licked me from my chest, up my neck and latched onto my ear. Then he spun me around and pushed his crotch to my butt. "You bet your ass it'll be all night." His hands slid from the back of my jeans to the front. I gasped and leaned back to kiss him again. Our observing pair had had enough of a display and they made a quick exit. Brian snorted a laugh, as did I.

Ted said, "Why is being steady with a guy so tough for queers to understand?"

Brian observed, "It's not because we're queer, it's because we're men. Men are always looking for the next best thing to fuck."

Emmett hugged Cal. "I, for one, could not be happier with my only guy." They kissed.

"Just make sure it stays that way, Em." Brian gave him a sideways glance. "No trips to see Dijon, like the mustard."

"Brian! That was years ago." Emmett remembered full well that while he was dating Ted he'd had a brief affair with Dijon, a sexy male flight attendant. Brian had told me about it.

Cal looked at Emmett questioningly. "Dijon?"

Ted jumped in to save his old friend Emmett. "Don't worry about it, Cal. When Emmett and I were first dating, it was still an open relationship. That's all." Blake looked from Ted to Emmett.

Brian smirked, "Yeah, OK."

I tapped him on the arm. "Shut up. Em's different now with Cal."

"Thank you, sugar." Emmett glared at Brian, and then smiled sweetly at Cal. "I love you, honey."

"I love you, too." Cal said.

Ted and Blake exchanged _I love you'_s. I knew better than to say the words to Brian, though. He didn't believe in romantic love. I wasn't going to profess my love, leaving the words hanging in the air with no response. I just smiled at our happy friends.

Brian made a gag face. "C'mon, Justin. I believe we discussed something happening all night long?"

"Yes, I believe we did." I picked up on his cue and desire to leave. "Lead the way."

He put his arm around me and turned to our friends. "Goodnight gentlemen. I hope you all are _very_ happy together."

Emmett smiled. "You, too, guys." Similar comments came from Ted, Blake and Cal.

Life went on for us. Lindsay and Mel moved to Toronto. Before she left, Lindsay saw to it that I had a gallery opening and it was well-received. Brian and I talked to Ted about Babylon and we decided to rebuild it – our 'fuck 'em all' monument to gay culture. Throw it in the face of those bent on destroying the gay community.

Kinnetik thrived, surpassing all expectations. Brian paid off the mortgage on the loft. I was promoted to Assistant Art Director when John left for a job in L.A.. Brian and I kept our work relationship professional. Other than a quick squeeze or kiss on the cheek, there were no public displays of affection. Well, I should mention there was this one time after Brian had been away for four days … _heh, heh_. Let's just say I'm glad there's a lock on that boiler room door. God, that was hot!

Eventually, somewhere about this time, I officially changed my address from Deb's to the loft. I was already spending most of my time with Brian, so it just made sense. I just announced one day that I was moving the last of my stuff. He said "OK." We packed up the last of my belongings and I moved in. It was just that simple.

We started a checking account into which we both put money. Any monthly payments we had were paid from that. I knew I wasn't putting as much into the kitty as Brian was, but it was important to me to feel that I was contributing.

And, speaking of living arrangements, my former roommate Andy called me and told me he got his own place. He'd given up hustling and was now working for group sales at the Pittsburgh Pirates ticket office. We didn't know whatever happened to JR, and, frankly, we didn't care.

About three months after Brian made our announcement about being together, I was out shopping with Emmett. We'd developed a close friendship and I've always found him to be a joy to be around. On that particular day, Brian had been out of town for a week and was due back that night, so I wanted to have something sexy to wear.

I came out of the dressing room wearing some cute boy shorts. I spun around for Em to see that _EAT ME_ was written on the ass.

"Oh, honey. Brian will be all over you when you're wearing that! He'll be horny as hell by the time he gets home, anyway."

"Now, Emmett. Let us not assume that he hasn't gotten any while he was away."

"You two are monogamous, right?"

"I am. He isn't."

"Can't tame the beast, eh?"

"I'm not trying to. I love Brian and I'll do what I can to keep him. That means not forcing the wedge of fidelity in between us. I told him from the start he was going to be the only man I'm with, but that I didn't assume he'd be the same. Honestly, here in Pittsburgh, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one he fucks. Out of town is another matter."

"So, business trips mean extracurricular activity?"

"Sometimes. I guess. I don't ask. Occasionally he'll mention a hot guy he met, but doesn't tell me any details. That's OK." I picked up a shirt to look at it and sniffed the fabric. "It's going to sound crazy, but I can smell them on him when he gets back. Sometimes, I swear, I can imagine what the guy looked like just from the scent of him."

"My God. That'd piss me off, thinking of my man with someone else in a hotel room somewhere."

I shook my head. "After all of those years of hustling, I know how empty a stream of faceless encounters can be. I'm just hoping that, eventually, he'll grow tired of it." I returned the shirt to the rack.

"I suppose."

"And the more that I can do to satisfy him when he gets home, the better for me. Now, help me decide between the blue shorts and the grey ones."

"Blue, definitely."

A few months later I went to visit Daphne in New York for a week. When I returned, Brian picked me up from the airport. He gave me a big hug and a nice kiss. He asked, "How was your trip?"

"Great. Daphne's great. I had lunch with that writer from Art Forum magazine, Mr. Herbert. He gave me the cards of two art dealers. I contacted them and they're both interested in displaying one or two of my pieces."

"That's great, Justin. I always knew you'd be a big success." He kissed me again. "I have someplace I want to show you on the way home."

"OK? Where is it? What?" My curiosity was getting the better of me.

He smiled and said, "You'll have to wait, Sunshine."

While we drove I talked about New York. Brian listened attentively. The next thing I knew we were in front of Pittsburgh Perk.

"Are we stopping for coffee?"

"No, you'll see. C'mon, around back."

We walked to the back of the building and up some external stairs that led to the second floor. Brian had a key and opened the door. "Welcome to your new studio, Mr. Taylor."

I walked in and looked around open mouthed and amazed. There were huge skylights, a work table, slop sink, easels and a large shelf unit stocked with supplies. There was a grey couch near the window and a couple of folding chairs. All of the walls were painted white and you could still smell the paint.

"Brian, this is amazing! This is for me? Wasn't this an apartment?"

"Yes, I bought the building about a month ago and had all of the inside walls torn down, except for the bathroom, of course. There's a full bath with a big tub. I figured we'd keep the kitchen so you can feed the bottomless pit known as your stomach. The skylights went in this week."

Janice came up the stairs and knocked on the door frame. She was wearing clothes dotted with white paint. "Hey, Justin. Do you love it?"

"Janice, hi. I take it you helped with this."

Brian put his arm around her. "She's been great. My professional un-decorator. She saw to the renovations, actually and, as you can see, painted everything white."

"So, you like it?" She asked.

"It's a wonderful space. I can't believe you guys did this!"

Brian and Janice smiled at each other. She said, "I'm just finishing now, so we timed that right. I'll take off now and leave you two. Goodbye."

We said our goodbyes. She winked at me and ran down the stairs. I stood looking at Brian. "You're fucking unbelievable."

"I wanted you to get out of that old boiler room and into the light."

I hugged him and we kissed. I shook my head. "How many buildings do you own now?"

"Let's see. The loft, Kinnetik, Babylon and now the Pittsburgh Perk slash Taylor Studio."

"You are quite the real estate magnate."

"Yes. As a matter of fact, Ted has told me that I should consider forming a corporation as a holding company with all of the buildings as assets." He took a second and held my hands. "I've decided to make it a partnership." I looked at him questioningly. "I want us to be partners, Justin."

I was surprised. "Partners?"

"Yes, for the corporation and to protect us legally. If anything would happen to me, you'd be protected." He smiled. "And I can be half owner of all of the great paintings you'll be doing here, so I can get a return on my investment."

"I don't know what to say."

"Yes?"

"Yes!"

Over the next few weeks we signed what seemed like hundreds of pieces of paper, combining all of our assets. We also made out wills and medical power of attorneys. We were tied together.


	8. Chapter 8

I'm always trying new things with Brian, keeping things fresh between us. One Saturday I suggested a picnic at a local park. He said he'd meet me after he met a client for a quick brunch meeting. I went to the park and set up. After Brian was an hour late, I phoned him and he told me that the client insisted on going back to Kinnetik to go over the campaign. It was worth a lot of money to the business, so I couldn't argue. I packed up and went home. He finally got home after dinner. I was probably pretty cool to him that evening, but we didn't argue. I didn't expect an apology from him … he doesn't apologize. But, I could tell that he was sorry that he'd disappointed me with my plans.

The next day, Sunday, I told Brian that I was meeting my Mom and sister for lunch and to do some shopping. I told him that I'd be back in the afternoon. I kissed him goodbye and met my family. My phone rang around four pm. Brian just wanted to know how my day was going and when I'd be back. I told him I'd be home around five. He sounded like he really wanted to see me. He'd never actually say that, of course, but I could tell from the tone of his voice. I figured he'd want to go to Babylon and fuck me in the back room to give a public showing of his desire for me.

I said goodbye to Mom and Molly and returned to the loft. Soft music was playing and lit candles were all over the place. Brian was reclined on the floor pad, reading a magazine. "Hey, Justin." He got up and walked up to me to give me a hug and a kiss. "How's Mother Taylor?"

"Great. She's fine. Bought Molly a bunch of clothes." My eyes scanned the room. "What's all this?"

"Well, yesterday you wanted a picnic, which I had to miss. So, I thought I'd make it up to you with a picnic today."

"Here?" I could see that the Mies van der Rohe coffee table had various food containers on it. A large blanket covered the floor pad. Wine glasses were set out.

"Yeah. I have some food ready, all of which you'll like. Hungry?" He gave me a hopeful look.

"Sure, Brian. Sounds great."

He pulled me over to the floor pad. When I started to uncover the food, he pulled my hand away. "No, not yet."

"OK." I chuckled. "How do we eat, then?"

"I blindfold you and feed you. The courses will be a surprise."

"Mmmm. Kinky. Sounds like fun." I put on the blindfold that we'd used before for various sex play fun. I beamed and said, "Feed me." I opened my mouth.

"That's a pose I've seen you in before."

I laughed.

"Here's the first course." He put something in my mouth.

I rolled it around. My tongue identified it. "Mmm. Shrimp." I chewed. "Great flavor. Garlic?"

"I always knew you had a talented mouth, Sunshine. Yes, it's garlic shrimp."

We both sat and ate a few pieces of shrimp. It was delicious.

"OK. Second course." He said.

I was fed a vegetable. It took me a second or two. "Asparagus?"

"Yes, with Hollandaise sauce."

"Very good." When I spoke, some sauce dribbled onto my chin. Brian licked my chin to assist me, which resulted in some sexy asparagus flavored kisses. After we ate the rest of the asparagus, I asked, "What's next?"

"Main course." I could hear a knife on a plate and then felt something warm at my lips. I opened to taste the most wonderful steak I thought I'd ever had.

"Mmm! Prime rib?"

"Filet mignon. You can take the blindfold off for now."

I did as instructed and we sat and ate two delicious filets. "Where did you get this food?"

"I called Emmett for advice as to what to serve. He insisted on buying everything and bringing it over. I've been keeping the food warm in the oven since around four, when I called."

"I just love Emmett. He's such a romantic." I paused. "You're more of a romantic than you'll ever admit."

We kissed and finished the steaks. The plates were set aside. Brian asked, "Full yet?"

"I saved room for desert." My eyebrows rose with sexual entendre.

"First dessert, then the kind of dessert you're thinking of. Blindfold."

I complied and sat waiting for something sweet. I could hear Brian shuffle around. He was opening a food container, but then he moved to the middle of the floor pad. Was he taking off his clothes? My curiosity was piqued.

"New rule for the rest of the meal… we can only eat off of each other's bodies. No hands." As I opened my eyes, there was Brian, stark naked, save for some sliced peaches (the kind in heavy syrup) in the middle of his stomach. He had a mischievous grin on his face and a can of whipped cream in his hand. As I removed my clothes, he put a squirt of cream on each of his own nipples and another on the peach slices. He had a smile on his face as he said, "I figured we started our relationship with extra cream sessions, so why not continue?"

I stripped and immediately began licking his chest. We exchanged kisses, but most of the time my tongue was exploring his body. I would get a piece of peach into my mouth and then kiss him. I'd squirt whipped cream on his cock and lick it off, while taking my favorite source of 'extra cream' into my mouth. Brian just lay there, enjoying the affections. I loved licking him and tasting him alternately with peaches and cream. It turned into at least a half an hour of licking, tasting and kissing.

Finally, he sat up, his body slick with … everything … and said, "Now, your turn."

I reclined and sprawled my body out, while on my back. I smiled and looked up at my dining partner.

Brian smiled and pushed me to roll over. He placed a couple of peach slices on the small of my back, which were cold and made me flinch a little. "Hold still." He chuckled. A trail of cream was then placed from the back of my neck, all of the way down to the crack of my ass. My lover's talented tongue began its exploratory trail down my back. There were licks and then a piece of peach. He'd chew the peach and then go for another lick.

"This isn't breaking your 'no carbs after seven rule' is it?"

"It's six o'clock, we still have plenty of time." And he certainly took his time. Another half hour passed with the peaches, cream, kiss, lick theme. It was heavenly. His actions were so tender and loving. It was sensual bliss.

As the last of the cream was licked from me, he reclined next to me and asked, "How long have you been living here now?"

"Full time? I've been here over a year."

"You just got your physical last week and you checked out all healthy … negative."

"Yes."

He nodded. "I got tested a few months ago and then again today. I'm negative, too."

"That's great." I was very happy that we were both in good health. I still didn't know where he was going with this conversation, though.

"I know you've only been with me, right?"

"Yes, Brian. Only you."

"Well, since my last HIV test, it's been the same for me."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "You mean that you haven't…?"

He shook his head.

"Even out of town…?"

"No. Not that there haven't been offers, but, no."

"I'm surprised, pleasantly so, but … that's great." I stroked his cheek with my hand. "I love you."

He gave me a quick kiss and pulled me in closer. "So, I was thinking that if we're both clean and have been monogamous, that we could, you know..."

"What?" I truly wasn't picking up on what he was saying. I could be anything from toe sucking to marriage at this point for all I knew.

"We can do it raw. Bareback." His eyes met mine. Mine opened widely at the suggestion.

"I've never … I mean … I can't imagine." My heart was beating wildly at the thought of such an intimate connection.

"It's something I thought I'd never do, either. But we could."

"Yes. Oh, yes, I'd love that." We kissed. "Let's shower off and then go to the bed."

We showered while exchanging many passionate kisses. Our desire for each other was evident as our bodies rubbed together. I thought about just doing it in the shower, as I'm sure he did, but I wanted this first real connection to happen in bed. Brian gently ran a washcloth over my back to wash off the last of the peaches and cream and I returned the favor. We dried off silently and moved to the bed. He reached into the drawer of supplies and pulled out the lube. Then he reached for a handful of condoms and ceremoniously threw them to the wastebasket usually used for filled rubbers. I laughed.

"How do want to do this?" He asked.

I rolled onto my back and parted my legs. "Like this."

He nodded and leaned forward to kiss me. I reached for the lube and began to prepare myself. He continued with his own fingers until I was slicked up properly. He prepared his stiff, leaking cock as well. I drew my legs up and he placed a pillow under my ass to give himself the best access.

The immensity of the moment overcame me. I actually felt a tear slide down the side of my face. Here was a man I loved, I trusted, about to climb inside me. I could see the look on his face and knew this was emotional for him, too. He leaned forward onto one arm as the other guided the tip of his dick to my entrance. I lifted my chin as a silent signal to continue.

He slowly pushed himself inside me. He'd pull back a little and then continue further. It was an incredible sensation. Finally, he was firmly seated inside, his balls to my ass. The look on his face was as remarkable as anything I was feeling physically.

He spoke breathlessly, "Oh, my God, Justin. I can feel every part of you."

"And I can feel every inch of you." As he began regular thrusting, my head reeled back. "I can feel the head of your cock as you move. Fuck, this is so good."

He leaned forward and we kissed, exploring each other's mouths and moaning. As the passion increased, though, he went back to being on his knees so that he could get the maximum amount of motion. He pistoned himself into me over and over again. "Damn, this is so good. You're so tight, so hot." As I touched his lower back to pull him into me, my hands felt the sweat of his effort. We were both hot with desire; for each other, for this new amazing experience.

The excitement for both of us built up to a peak. I came, exploding my cum onto my chest. "Oh, shit, Briahhhhhn!"

He came right after me, releasing his hot juices inside me. "Fuck, this is it!" I could feel every pulse of that magnificent cock, the cum shooting into me.

After our breathing had more or less returned to normal, I said, "That was so intense!"

"Un-fucking-believable." He said with a smile. He pulled out and I could feel his juices spill out of me. I got another shudder of excitement just from that. He chuckled at my reaction and dragged his finger over the leaking cum. I reached to him to kiss him and he put his moistened finger in my mouth first, before kissing me. We shared the taste of him in our mouths.

After a quick trip to the washroom we returned to the bed facing each other. We kissed and he stroked my face. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything tonight."

"You provided that dinner and the sexy hand feeding."

"I mean this. You and me … raw."

"It was incredible, wasn't it?"

"If it wasn't for you … I never … would know what it was like."

"Maybe."

"No, you don't understand. If I hadn't met you, who I could have as my only guy, I would have just kept tricking around wearing condoms forever."

"I don't know where I'd be if it wasn't for you. I might still be a call boy. I need you and love you so much."

He gave a slight nod, hugged me and whispered in my ear, "I love you, too."

My heart exploded with happiness. Brian Kinney had professed his love to me. The man that could never be monogamous _was_ … with me. I couldn't believe my luck. "Really?"

"Yes, just don't let it get around, OK?"

I smiled at him. "Don't worry." I repeated something I'd said to him the first time we had sex. "I understand discretion, believe me."

"I remember." He knew I'd never told anyone about that first post-surgery connection we'd made.

We kissed for a while longer and held each other.

That was a few years ago. Brian and I have had happy lives, with the usual ups and downs. The man of my dreams is my friend, my monogamous lover, my business partner, life partner and the love of my life. Kinnetik is successful and I'm selling my paintings with occasional trips to New York and Chicago. There's more to our story, but maybe I'll tell you that some other time.

Thanks for reading!

- Justin Taylor


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